I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
