3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
