so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
