You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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