i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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