it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
