i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I pour the whiskey from now on
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
