What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
