Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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