mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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