Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
