you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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