It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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