Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
