im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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