brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize