Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
