My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
