he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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