they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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