I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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