youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
