Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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