The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
