He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
