I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
