Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
