Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
