great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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