The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it wasn't lemon gatorade
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
