They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
