It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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