You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
