i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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