why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
