Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
