i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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