I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize