i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize