This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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