She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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