My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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