I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
