moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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