too bad you live with your parents still
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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