New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
