dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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