you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
