I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
