basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
foreskin is a definite game changer
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
