no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
