i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
