just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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