I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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