Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I deserve this hangover.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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