Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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