cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
only you would photoshop your dick
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
