I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
